Feeling Grey, Feeling Blue

October 7, 2007

I have a terrible headache.

I feel tired… I have cough, colds and bloodshot eyes… I have to be at the office early this entire week… I haven't made Bhel and Cherick's testimonials yet (sorry)… and DLSU just won the championship (here is an amusing article BTW).

So bat di na ako matulog?

Well, pasaway ako eh. I want to finish this blog entry first, and then gusto ko pa panoorin yung season 1 finale + season 2 premiere ng Friday Night Lights.

Anyway, on to what I initially wanted to blog about:

One reason why I love watching Grey's Anatomy is the voice-over that starts and ends the show. You could call it some sort of "reflection" on what the theme of the episode is, and it makes for great blogging material since more often than not, I find myself able to relate to a number of these thoughts or reflections.

I watched episode 1 and 2 of the new season already, so I guess that's what I'll feature here for now:  

GA s04e01 - A Change Is Gonna Come
(start of the episode) In the practice of medicine, change is inevitable. New surgical techniques are created, procedures are updated, levels of expertise increase. Innovation is everything, nothing remains the same for long. We either adapt to change, or we get left behind.

(end of the episode) Change; we don’t like it, we fear it, but we can't stop it from coming. We either adapt to change or we get left behind. And it hurts to grow, anybody who tells you it doesn’t is lying. But heres the truth: the more things change, the more they stay the same. And sometimes, oh, sometimes change is good. Oh, sometimes change is everything.

I am a comfort zone person. Anyone who knows me will say that I am a comfort zone person. I find my comfort zone and I stay there. I generally don't like change.

For 16 years, my comfort zone was Ateneo. When I graduated from college in 2004, I was kind of excited, yet very scared of stepping out into "the real world". I admit that we Ateneans are a sheltered lot. As much as our school tries to teach us how to reach out and "bumaba mula sa bundok", we will always be a sheltered and pampered lot within the confines of our campus.

Right now, my office has already become a comfort zone. Even though work can be a pain most of the time, the familiarity with the place…. the people… the routines… it all makes me comfortable enough not to leave. The downside of this, of course, is that constant nagging thought if this is really where I should be. Just because something feels comfortable, it doesn't mean that it is what's right for you. Actually, what is comfortable and what is right have little to do with each other, imho.

That's why change is scary, I think. It's both about: 1) taking you out of your comfort zone; and, 2) presenting you the possibility that what you once thought was right for you wasn't right for you after all. I think it applies to everything in life: Graduating from school and going out to find a job; resigning from a job and then taking up a new one; moving out of your house and into a new place; breaking up and finding someone else; dropping a friend and finding a new group; uninstalling windows and shifting to unix (hehe); and the list goes on and on…

Personally, I'd like to keep that list as short as possible… but… well… you know… the realities of life… 

GA s04e02 - Love/Addiction
(start of the episode) In the hospital, we see addiction every day. It's shocking how many kinds of addiction exist. It would be too easy if it were just drugs and booze and cigarettes. I think the hardest part of kicking a habit is wanting to kick it. I mean, we get addicted for a reason, right? Often, too often, things that start out as just a normal part of your life at some point cross the line to obsessive, compulsive, out of control. It's the high we're chasing, the high that makes everything else fade away.

(end of the episode) The thing about addiction is it never ends well, because eventually, whatever it is that was getting us high stops feeling good and starts to hurt. Still, they say you don’t kick the habit until you hit rock bottom, but how do you know when you’re there? Because no matter how badly a thing is hurting us, sometimes letting it go hurts even worse.

Oh god, addiction… I wonder what most people would answer to this question: What would you rather be addicted to? Cigarettes or Love?

Most people would be thinking: "Oh, what a dumb question… smoking kills, man!"

And my answer to that is: "So… love doesn't?" 

Anyway… I don't think I have anything much to add on what's already quoted above, really. I just hope that if ever I'm addicted to anything, I'd have the good sense to quit while I'm ahead.

Ooooh interesting, I feel better. The headache's gone. Weird.

Maybe the vid below had something to do with it. Sabi ni Cami, pampagaan ng loob daw. Hehe. Congrats LaSalle, but I doubt any of your championships could be any sweeter that this.

Win or lose, it's the school we choose!
One Big Fight!
\m/

-Hyde