when "good" isn’t "good enough"

November 8, 2007

you suck.

i feel sucky.

it's because you suck.

i'm not so sure about that, though.

well, i am.

what makes you so sure about it?

you should know. you're just denying it.

i'm not denying it. i'm just reasoning out, and there is a reason.

a reason or an excuse?

a reason.

so why do you feel sucky?

i don't know.

i'll tell you why: it's because you're guilty. you're guilty because you have no reason. all you have are excuses.

you seem to know everything, don't you?

well i am you and you are me.

if that's the case, then you should know why in this situation, i could as easily be the victim as the culprit.

"victim" and "culprit" are too strong terms to use.

you know what i mean.

okay, yes, i get it.

in most contexts, sure, I'd be the culprit. but it's never the norm when it comes to these kinds of things. your problem is that you always think in terms of the norm.

"the norm".

okay, i use the term loosely. what i'm trying to say is that you think too much in terms of stereotypes… you react in the context of what most people would subscribe to… when the reality of the situation is that you can't possibly see where i'm coming from. i am you and you are me, but we're still as different as can be.

touche. point taken. nice rhyme.

thanks.

ANYWAY… but that doesn't mean that you're right and i'm wrong. the mere fact that you feel bad means that there is still some part of you that knows you're wrong.

or maybe just some part of me that knows i could have done better when i should have done better.

yes, that could be the case. sometimes, satisfactory is just not enough.

like… you could always have passing marks in school but your grades will never be enough for you to be a dean's lister.

exactly. and in this case, i think you should have been the valedictorian, but you just settled for passing marks. may kasabihan "pag gusto, madaming paraan… pag ayaw, madaming dahilan"

no, i don't agree. minsan kahit gusto mo, hindi mo maiwasan na mapigilan ng mga hadlang. it's idealistic to think na "pag gusto, madaming paraan"; but in reality, there area a lot of factors in life that are beyond one's control.

so were there such factors in this situation? so uncontrollable that you couldn't have done better?

i could have done better, but I did good enough.

you think so, huh? I don’t. and that nagging feeling inside you also doesn’t. oh well. charge it to experience. what else is there to do?

- Jekyll & Hyde